January 2, 2009

Most education advocacy groups unable to borrow "Mission Accomplished" banner

Washington, DC (APOCRYPHAL PRESS)--The fundraising group Democrats for Education Reform has found itself unable to secure the Mission Accomplished banner that President George W. Bush used to declare victory in the Iraq War.

"Apparently, it's been reserved by the National Education Association," said a prominent member of the group when contacted for this story. "They went to the National Archives five minutes before we did. Damn them!"

According to sources at the National Archives, at least fifteen advocacy organizations plus another big-city superintendent tried to reserve the infamous banner for press conferences announcing their pleasure at the designation of Arne Duncan as Barack Obama's Secretary of Education. One confidential memo secured by the Apocryphal Press shows the speech that was to be used by an unidentified advocacy group:

We have successfully invaded the Obama Administration. With Arne Duncan installed in the Secretary position, the forces of educational terrorism are in retreat.

As soon as we can, we will transfer sovereignty for its policies back to the Obama White House.

No group would take responsibility for the statement, though one representative speaking on condition of anonymity said every advocacy group wanted to praise Obama for his choice "because doing otherwise would make anyone look like a jackass or a sore loser."

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Tags: lame parody
Posted in Out of Left Field Friday on January 2, 2009 2:15 PM |